ACCUSATION OR CRITICISM | WE JUDGE SOMEONE'S WORTH BY HOW MANY ADMIRERS HE HAS BEHIND HIM JUST LIKE A COIN HAS TWO SIDES, | THERE ARE ALSO TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN SOCIETY, ONE WHO APPRECIATES AND THE OTHER WHO CRITICIZES PRODUCTIVE CRITICISM AND BLAME

Blame or criticism

 

We humans are social creatures and the more we are trusted in society, the more we are appreciated, and the more we deserve praise, the more our worth in society increases. We judge someone's worth by how many admirers he has behind him. And a negative part of that is criticizing. Just like there are two sides to a coin, there are also two types of people in society, one who appreciates and the other who criticizes. Learning how to deal with such critical people is very important as part of your personal development. 

Productive Criticism and Blame

There are two types of criticism, constructive criticism and the blame game. The first type of criticism comes from your well-wishers while the second type of criticism comes from your ill-wishers. Simply put, the difference depends on the intent behind the criticism. If you can find the reason behind someone's criticism, it will be easier for you to make this distinction. What is the reason for criticism? Find out why you are being criticized? If the critic speaks for your good, then that person has helped you in some way. On the contrary, we suffer from criticism even if it is based on our truth.

Criticism based on truth is actually for our good but we humans are so emotional that we always value how it is said more than what is said.

But our discussion is about constant criticism, to be honest, it is very annoying to hear constant criticism. A person can tolerate criticism once or twice, at most even three times, but more than that is beyond endurance. The sufferer of this can face dire consequences that we can't even imagine.

Should We Take It Personally?

I can understand that your words are hard for you to ignore, but unless you do, you won't notice who the critic is.

Understand what I mean if criticizing someone is in that person's nature, whether she likes it or is motivated by it, knowingly or unknowingly it is that person's problem. That is not our problem. If the same person criticizes 10 other people in a day, why should it be assumed that everyone else is bad except that person? If not, it means that person is full of negativity and that person is spreading this negativity everywhere.

So who is really behind this? Are all those 10 people responsible for this? Probably not, and as one of the 10 or more people who don't, you are responsible for this. It's not about you, it's about the person who can't help but criticize others. In fact, such a person deserves your sympathy. Note that I am not talking about positive criticism. You will understand what kind of criticism I am talking about.

Some People Do Not Know How to Speak and What to Say

Not everyone is good at communication skills, some people don't even know the basics of communication skills. Although it may seem difficult to digest, it is true. Many times people misinterpret someone's use of words. Words are certainly an important part of a conversation, but words alone are not a conversation. There are also some forms of communication where no words are used at all. Would you like it if someone insulted you using good words? Or how would you feel if someone cursed you while smiling? Many people do not understand how to use their emotions when speaking. And in such a situation we find it difficult to interpret their speech.

At such times pay attention to what they are saying rather than how they are saying it. Your objective should be the same, no matter what they are saying, it may be for your own good. Remember that if you want to be a good communicator, you need to know what to say, when to say it, and most importantly, how to say it.

Rephrase and Add Context

Think about it, if someone came up to you and told you that you could have done better than this, of course, you would be angry with that person. Which is probably natural. But have you ever thought that maybe that person also went through a similar experience and because she took this feedback in a positive light, she was able to make the right changes in herself and make herself better than before. If so, do you have any reason to resent the expense? I mean why you would be angry with someone who wishes you well.

All we need to remember is how to take only good things or positivity from what the other person is saying. Also remember that if your boss yells at you, he is helping you to be better.

If you are faced with difficult situations over and over again, assume that this is because you can cope and that is why you are facing them. We have to consider the context behind what we say because what we think is not what we think. If you can add context to the criticisms you receive and find positives in them, you will find it easier to deal with these criticisms will go

Be Careful

As we saw in the previous point, watching how you think about someone's words can only be done if you are careful. Getting caught up in emotions is often a waste. Our brain shows us what it perceives rather than what is real. No one likes to be delusional. Right? Our brain interprets something from our past experiences and the little information we have.

In fact, our brain does not pay attention to everything that is happening around us. If you think about it, you will realize that we cannot and cannot hear, see, touch, and smell everything around us. We need to pay attention to what is important for us. Isn't this a gift of sorts? With that in mind, we should spend some time wondering if we're missing something.

This is what will help you, if someone criticizes you and you get angry, think about what exactly you are angry about? Be careful, look into your own mind, and understand your own feelings. Look at your criticism from a third-person perspective.

You Don't Have To Pay Attention to Everything

As we talked about in the point we saw, we have the gift of paying attention only to the things we want to pay attention to. Your brain is a magnet that absorbs only what you focus on. These assimilations form thoughts and from them, emotions arise. If you want to experience only good and positive emotions, if you want to be happy, you must be able to control your emotions.

We have to pay attention to what our brain is absorbing and what is not. If you can control what you absorb, controlling your emotions is not difficult. Even if someone forces you to pay attention to their negative comments, you can reframe those comments in your mind and take from them what helps you.

Have a Very Kind Nature

If you follow the points we have seen so far, I am sure you will be able to convince yourself not to get angry. If you can respond to criticism politely and positively, you can definitely change the way the other person reacts to you.

The person criticizing you expects the same response from you, but if your response is the opposite, then confusion will arise as to what to do next and how to respond.

And maybe your positive and polite response will change her opinion of you too.

Know Who to Give Feedback To

Don't misunderstand here. People's feedback is often not in our hands. But it is equally true that sometimes we ask for their feedback after doing something ourselves. In such situations, we should know from whom we are asking for feedback. Asking for feedback from someone who criticizes you all the time can be unwise because you are giving the person an opportunity to criticize you. Avoid asking for feedback if possible. But if it is necessary to get people's feedback, we need to know from whom we are getting feedback. The person you seek feedback from should be correcting your mistakes, not criticizing.

Be Grateful To Others

It takes courage to express gratitude to others. We all want to live a perfect life. We all want everything in our life to be perfect and we strive for it.

What exactly is the perfect life for you? What would you say if asked? The answer would be personal growth or we can say improvements in oneself for one's own good. Although it is true to improve, we can only do this if we know where we are falling short and what we need to work on.

In our school life, we needed teachers to check whether the studies we did were correct or not. It hasn't changed yet, we still need someone to reform us. That need can be met by critics. Admittedly, sometimes these criticisms are too harsh and that's why we don't even like them. But the important thing here is that whatever their motive for criticizing you, you can use it for your improvement and you should thank them for it. It takes real courage to thank such persons from the bottom of my heart but I am sure you would love to call yourself brave.

We Don't Need To Please Everyone

Good people are good not because others say they are, but because they really are. But even if it feels good if people say it, what they say doesn't decide anything. Because people are selfish, they judge whether we are good or not by what we have done for them. But what we do for the benefit of others is not always good. That's why sometimes we can reject such requests for good.

SUMMARY

You copy for one, we have pure intentions, but when people don't go our way, we project frustration by criticizing them. Criticism carries vibrations of anger or rejection, so in addition to hurting the person being criticized, it saps our inner strength. If we remain consistent and give the same feedback, it is beneficial. Have you been in a conversation where you gave the best possible feedback, yet the other person perceived it as criticism and rejection? Is your instruction often perceived as harsh and insulting? Do you put off giving advice to people because you're not sure how to convey it effectively? When giving feedback, how we say it is more important than what we say. Our intentions toward family, friends, and colleagues are pure, but we need to be careful with our energy when expressing feedback. If you are critical, the other person becomes defensive, weak, and hurt. He holds us responsible for the pain and the negativity comes back to haunt us. There are some people in everyone's life who no matter what you do, you will not get along well and you know it very well. If you try to keep everyone happy, someone might take advantage of it. So you should know who to say yes and no to for help.

Please be aware

All the information in the above article is collected from various websites through the internet. According to the subject, this information has been presented to you with necessary modifications. The Compiler does not take any responsibility for its authenticity and cannot guarantee 100% about the points and information presented therein. Readers are requested to enjoy reading. The information given here is based on religious belief and folk belief, there is no scientific evidence for it. It is presented here keeping in mind the general interest.